Only the Strongest Will Survive
by Tattoo My Heart
Summary: Rose convinces Adrian to leave Court with her after Dimitri declares that 'love fades' - leaving Dimitri behind as Lissa's Guardian. But things are never that simple, and Rose finds that she can't simply run from her past. Contains mature themes. A/R D/R
1. I'm Dying, You're Crying

AN: Hello all! This is my first try at a Vampire Academy fanfic, and I just wanted to clarify some things first. Most importantly, **the Queen hasn't been murdered, and the end of _Spirit Bound _is disregarded.** So then, Last Sacrifice is also disregarded. I'm sure it'll make sense, but feel free to ask questions anyways.

And just so that everyone is aware, this will contain darker, mature themes; I don't want that to catch anyone off guard.

I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own the_ Vampire Academy_ series, and am not making any profit off of this story. This disclaimer stands for the rest of the story.

* * *

**Only the Strongest Will Survive**

**Chapter One**

**I'm Dying, You're Crying  
**

_No one_ said no to Rosemarie Hathaway.

"I want you, no one else," she said, the determination in her voice reinforcing the fierce expression on her face.

Adrian crossed his arms over his chest and a tense look came over his features. "As flattering as I know you think that might be, little dhampir, you can probably understand my reluctance."

Rose clenched her fists. Of course he'd choose now – of all times – to reject her. Maybe she should have been shocked at his refusal, but she honestly thought he would jump at the opportunity she was offering him.

"Why not?" she demanded.

Adrian smiled at her calmly. "Don't misunderstand me – I've wanted nothing more than exactly this since the first time I laid eyes on you." As though to prove his point, his eyes lingered over her body. "I have _always_ wanted you, but I think we both know there is a lot more going on here than just your sudden change of heart."

Rose smiled softly. She had to hand to him, he was right. There was _a lot_ more behind this than a simple change of heart.

This was the result of months of preparation and there was no way in hell she was going to allow him to put the brakes on it.

"I need this, Adrian," she said softly, reaching out to him. "Why deny me?"

He took a quick step back and held his hands up.

That was a first.

Rose frowned. She knew this wasn't going to be easy – or simple, but she hadn't expected him to say _no_ outright. He was Adrian Ivashkov for god's sake. He was the epitome of crazy and impulsiveness. This should have been right up his alley.

"Because you're doing it for all the wrong reasons, that's why," he said impatiently. He ran a hand through his artfully messing hair, and watched her carefully. He apparently knew her well enough to know she had an ulterior motive.

This was going to complicate things.

"No," she persisted. "I'm doing it for all the _right _reasons and the sooner you realize that, the better."

"Tell me why then – tell me why you're asking me to do this," his face seemed anxious, his hair falling into his eyes.

Rose paused for a moment. Adrian's expression hinted at something that she couldn't quite put her finger on. There was a certain determination in the set of his shoulders and an almost angry look in his eyes.

The doubt crept in. Maybe he was right – maybe she _was_ asking too much. Maybe she was expecting more than she had any right to ask for.

He seemed to have taken her hesitation to mean that she wouldn't answer.

"Because of him," he said finally. "It's because of _him_ that you're asking me to do this for you."

She clamped her lips shut. She wouldn't deny it.

Her actions always revolved around _him_.

Dimitri Belikov.

Rose's gaze settled on the wall opposite her. It was easier than to look at the hurt that was settled over Adrian's features. He might try to mask it, but she knew it would be there if she looked close enough.

Because she knew him that well.

True, it was different than what she had shared with Dimitri - that intense, wordless connection that she had with her former mentor was indescribable, but that didn't diminish what she had with Adrian. It didn't make it any less powerful or compelling. And ever since Dimitri's words in the church all those months ago - that crap about _love fading_ - she had found that Adrian was the only one capable of keeping her from drowning in her own self pity. Not even Lissa was able to keep to darkness at bay.

And so that was reason she was here now, because she trusted him – chose him, really, to be the one to embark on this journey with her.

She needed a new beginning, one that wasn't overshadowed by her past – overshadowed by her unfailing _need_ for a certain Russian ex-Guardian.

That, and the fact remained that Adrian Ivashkov had the means to financially back whatever it was she had in mind.

Sure it was wrong, but she had run out of options, and besides that – she knew he wouldn't mind.

After what seemed like an eternity, she could see his shoulders sag forward.

"It'll kill Lissa, you know that."

Rose tried to ignore the hope that surged through her at his words - he was giving in. Instead, she nodded her head reluctantly. Of course she had already considered this. "Yes, but she'll heal – eventually. Besides it's not like we'd be going far."

Adrian's eyebrows shot up. "Oh really? Already have a destination in mind, do you?"

She thought she could see resentment flicker over his features, but she couldn't be sure. Resentment over what? The fact that she was so sure he'd agree that she had already made plans for their departure from Court?

Maybe. Actually, it was _very _likely that was the reason he was practically glaring at her.

Rose shrugged. "I wanted to have everything planned out before I asked you to do this." _Before I told you to do this, _her mind supplied for her. She stamped that idea from her head. No way was she letting herself turn back now. Not guilt, not remorse, not even her feelings of obligation towards Lissa were enough to make her change her mind.

Adrian was nodding his head, preoccupied with his own thoughts for a moment. "So how exactly do you propose I do this?"

"You're the Queen's favorite nephew – are you honestly trying to tell me that you don't think she'd give you anything you wanted?"

Adrian laughed at that. Maybe because she was right – Tatiana would give him anything he asked for. Isn't that one of the first things he had said to Rose? That all he had to do was ask for her to be his Guardian, and he'd have her?

Well, now that Rose herself was standing before him, asking for him to do exactly that – it seemed like he was having second thoughts.

She could see the indecision on his face, and decided to throw in the last bit of news. "Besides," she said with a flippant shrug, "once they know that you've been admitted to Cornell, they'll basically give you anything you ask for."

"Cornell?" he asked, clearly wondering why that was news to him as well. "Since when did I get admitted to Cornell?"

Rose smiled and took the remaining three steps to close in on him. "Since I applied for you back before Christmas." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him.

He laughed suddenly and shook his head. "So I take it the money you said was for that orphanage in Russia, was actually used to secure my enrollment?" He gave her a crooked grin. "And all this time I thought my money was going towards something useful."

She made a show of looking offended. "Take that back Adrian Ivashkov - the majority of that money _did _go towards the orphanage in Novosibirsk. As it happens, it wasn't that hard to get you in." _Which was a lie_. She had spent countless hours writing essays and fictionalizing his life. But the money really was the thing that guaranteed it. There was a lot that they were willing to overlook, when they received an 'anonymous' donation.

Adrian groaned loudly. "Never mind all that. You overlooked the fact that going to college requires something I hate - _studying_." He paused as Rose sighed in exasperation. "Besides, what are you going to do while we're there." He eyed her suspiciously. "I don't suppose that you thought to enroll yourself."

"Hell no - but that doesn't mean I won't have to sit through the classes with you. Part of the whole 'Guardian' thing."

He smiled at her, and Rose took that as a good sign. But there was still indecision in his eyes.

She hesitated, but threw it aside. "Don't tell me you don't want this," she whispered against his lips.

Adrian raised an eyebrow at that – remembering all too clearly the last time those words had left her lips. It had been here, as a matter of fact, on her bed . . . where they had nearly had sex. How long ago that seemed.

His hands reluctantly wrapped around her waist. "You clever temptress, little dhampir," he mused, a small smile tugging at his lips. He closed the gap between them as they kissed – at once passionate and powerful, fierce and determined.

His hands wandered her body, igniting feelings and impulses she had long ago resolved to bury.

But now – right now – she didn't want to fight it anymore.

Before she could fall too heavily into their actions, Adrian surprised her by pulling back. His green eyes blazed into hers with an alarming intensity. She could feel the flush of her face, and the way that her breath came out in quick, short spurts.

He regarded her for long moments, before a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. A quick nod from him was all she got before he turned, walking out her door.

It was then that she knew she had won. He would make it happen, she was sure of it.

The only question that remained, was when? And how long before the news reached Lissa?

Adrian was going to put a 'request' in for Rose to be his guardian – and they would grant him his wish. She had made certain of it, by getting him admitted to Cornell. They would think he was finally off to do something with his life. And besides that, Adrian had it in his power to be incredibly persuasive - with or without the help of compulsion.

And so Rose sank back down onto her bed. She had just seen the last piece of her plan fall into place. She was going to leave Court and Lissa would be safe here. They'd eventually take Dimitri off of probation and assign him to the Dragomir princess – she was certain of it.

So now, why was it that when her plan was finally coming together, she felt even more hopeless than before?

* * *

Reviews are much appreciated and I don't mind constructive criticism. I think you can expect updates a few times a month, at least that's the plan until I'm out of school. Also, this chapter is significantly shorter than the ones to follow. This is basically an introduction for what to expect for the rest of the story.

Until chapter two!

Theodora


	2. Reckless

AN: Who else is super excited about _**Last Sacrifice**_? Who am I kidding . . . just a few more hours to go . . .

* * *

**Only the Strongest Will Survive**

**Chapter Two**

**Reckless  
**

"You alright?" Adrian asked suddenly, and Rose turned back to look at him.

They were travelling from the campus back to their car. Home was a twenty minute drive out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by dense forest and virtually no one else.

And it was _precisely_ that twenty minute drive that Rose was dreading.

At the moment, all she wanted was a release – a release from the anger and rage that had built up in her.

Adrian had no doubt noticed the shift in her aura, a darkening of the light surrounding her.

Eddie seemed to understand this and came to her defense. "She's fine, we just need to get home."

Rose shot her partner a grateful look over her shoulder, while Adrian seemed suspicious.

Only Eddie knew the full extent of the power spirit's darkness had on her recently – and that was precisely how she wanted to keep it. It would be reckless to let Adrian know how vulnerable she was to it.

Despite that, they weren't able to completely hide it away from him. Her aura was a dead giveaway, so all they could do was deny the extent of its hold.

"If you'd just let me – " Adrian started in exasperation, reaching out his hand to touch her – to heal her.

"—No," Rose cut him off jerking farther forward and out of range of his reach, her irritation building to new levels. A low level pulse of heat and pain was building behind her eyes, deep in her skull. She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to focus on her job, and getting to the black sedan at the far side of the parking lot.

School itself had cleared out a while ago, but Adrian had stayed behind to talk to a professor. Apparently his grade was in jeopardy, and Adrian had it in his head that he needed to simply 'talk' to the man, and everything would be sorted out.

Rose should have guessed that he'd never actually work his way through college. All of that talk before about copying off other people at the academy wasn't just talk. He had probably never worked for a grade in his life.

A sigh of relief left Rose as their car came into view when they turned a corner. Since they were one of the last ones to leave, it really wasn't that hard to spot it. Students tended to take courses early in the day, not after nightfall, like her Maori charge. Rose's pace picked up, as did Eddie's and since Adrian was sandwiched between them, he was forced to walk faster as well.

Not without complaint though, surely not.

But the words, whatever they may been were lost to Rose as she focused on remaining aware of her surroundings, and battling her own dark urges.

But the hold it had on her was undeniable. The rage and illogical aggression that she felt was nearly overwhelming – it had never been this bad before. But then again, she had never been gone a year and a half without contact with Lissa before either.

Russia may have been hard at times, but she wasn't gone for more than a few months – manageable.

But a year and a half away from Court, and she was _nearly_ ready to go crawling back, groveling for forgiveness, and begging for a hit of the magical effects of spirit's healing abilities.

But that was unrealistic, and so she was just going to have to settle for the next best alternative – pain. The type that Eddie was willing to dish out in terms of brutally exchanged blows at their private training area back at home.

Hence the rush to the car.

Rose released a long held breath as they finally reached their sedan. Unlocking the doors, she opened the back passenger side, motioning impatiently for Adrian to climb inside.

Sensing her irritation and seeing the proof of it in her aura, he silently obeyed.

Right now, he'd play the part of the docile Maori, but as soon as she had bled out the effects of spirit, Rose knew there'd be time to pay for her rudeness.

Slamming the door shut, she made her way to the driver side door, but her hand stilled before opening it.

There, in the pit of her stomach, was the intense nausea that she had come to associate with only one thing.

Perfect fucking timing.

Her head pounded under the effects of spirit, but she was able to avoid the worst of the initial surprise attack.

Still, being slammed full force into the side of their car, wasn't exactly what Rose would call a good time.

Always quick on the rebound though she didn't miss a beat as she drew her stake and lunged for the large Strigoi in front her. His mocking smile seemed arrogant and relaxed, as though he expected her to react exactly that way. Lunging for the left, he batted her hand to the side, but missed the blow she dealt his thigh with her knee.

The Strigoi staggered back for a moment, allowing Rose to glance over towards the car. Eddie already had Adrian out of the car and was in a protective stance in front of him, eyes focused on her adversary.

The fact that Eddie was regarding the Strigoi in front of her as the threat, told her that there weren't any more lurking around – her partner was thorough. He was a professional.

He was exactly like her.

A quick feint to the right, and she was within striking range of the Strigoi, their eyes were locked. There was a flurry of blows, neither able to get the upper hand.

The world around her seemed to be amplified as she fought. The sting of her muscles as she tensed, released, and lunged. Her heart pounded powerfully away in her chest, reminding her once again how _alive_ she felt as she battled.

There was a pause in their assaults against one another. And that smirk, that calm, confidant look infuriated her to no end. The pulsing in the back of her skull was immense, but a distant second to the feeling of raw power as they faced off.

There was a rush of gravel flying out from under her shoes as she propelled herself forward – a crunch of dirt. Putting her weight into her moves, she landed a kick to his right leg, and threw herself into him, propelling him onto the ground. But he wasn't going to die that easily, it seemed, as he thrashed and scratched, raining blows down on her from his precarious position straddled beneath her.

More than once, her fist connected with the ground rather than his face as they struggled – but she wouldn't allow that to distract her. Pain was a friend of hers – nothing to be feared.

Death however, was entirely different. And she had no delusions here, she knew that one wrong move could mean her end. One moment of hesitation could find her cold and lifeless.

Meanwhile the Strigoi was putting up a massively good fight, evading her hits, and still managing to defend his chest from exposure. But he was weakening – she could tell, and a few more moments of struggle and she finally got the opening that she sought.

Using all the force she had in her, she plunged her stake between his ribs, watching with satisfaction as the surprise and anger flickered across his face.

She had done it before – the death by staking. That was how most – nearly all – of her kills had happened. It was always an immediate reaction. They simply go unnaturally still, there's no thrashing or fighting, just a profound calmness.

And so that was the case now, only Rose's head felt as though it were going to explode – a deep ridge down the center of her skull was going to crack open, and release the pain and tension she'd been battling with recently.

A blackness surrounded her for a moment, followed by an intense lightness – the type that she wasn't sure she had ever experienced before. It reached deep inside her and lifted the darkness from her and for a moment, she saw the ghosts that haunted her from time to time, and as though they recognized her, they came forward, looking on in curiosity.

But as quickly as they appeared, they were dispelled by a flash of darkness that originated from somewhere deep inside her, and like a blanket, it muted everything around her.

Moments may have passed, but the next thing she knew was Eddie pulling her to her feet, anxiousness settled over his features.

"—said are you okay?" he asked, apparently not for the first time. His grip was tight on her upper arm and she leaned into him fully for a moment before all light and sound returned to her with alarming rapidity.

Rose blinked dumbly once or twice, her mind finally catching up with her surroundings.

The car sat not yards behind her, Adrian tucked inside in the backseat, watching her, watching him. His mouth was set in a grim line, and he had his head cocked to the side. He seemed nervous, and excited all at the same time.

"Come on, get in the car," Eddie finally said, leading her towards the sedan. "And I'll drive," he added, plucking the keys from the ground where she had dropped them.

Rose nodded belatedly, before allowing herself to be guided into the passenger seat. Eddie shut the door behind her and she could immediately feel Adrian's stare.

"What the hell was that?" he asked, after a few moments had passed. His tone seemed almost angry.

Rose shrugged, still fighting off the aftereffects of that unexplainable experience. "Strigoi. First one we've had to kill since we've been up here."

Adrian made an odd noise before gripping her shoulder, leaning up over the console to look at her. "I meant, what happened? You killed the guy, but then something else happened, too." He seemed rather tense, and was searching her face for the answer. "And your aura," he half whispered, "it was the most incredible thing I think I've ever seen." The serious expression didn't leave his face as he amended, "I mean besides the first time I saw you naked."

Rose smiled, and even laughed lightly. But it seemed that once she started, she wasn't going to be able to stop, and the giggles frothed forward.

Eddie who had been dragging the Strigoi out to the edge of the trees, where it would be incinerated in the morning, finally reappeared and took his seat behind the wheel. He arched an eyebrow at Adrian, who merely shrugged, as Rose finally calmed herself down enough to look at both of them straight.

God she felt – good. Like, _really_ good.

"I think that's the first time you've laughed at my witty comments all week, little dhampir," Adrian said lightly, almost uneasily. Like he wasn't sure what her reaction would be. Since when did he censure _anything _that came out of his mouth?

Rose didn't dwell on it, and instead she exhaled slowly, then inhaled deeply, loving the feeling of the air entering her body. She closed her eyes. She felt _weightless_. As though something had been sitting on her chest for some time now, only to be removed just now.

Her eyes flickered open and she met the curious expression of her partner and charge . . . _her friends._

She smiled broadly. "I feel fucking fantastic," she announced, sitting back in her seat. "Whose down for a game of poker when we get home?" There was silence for a moment, as the two men exchanged wary, disbelieving looks. "And beer. Poker and beer," she added.

"Strip poker?" Adrian asked, laughing lightly at her.

Rose gave him a smoldering look, one that didn't need accompanying words.

Adrian raised one eyebrow in answer. "Well then." He sat back in his seat as well, casually buckling himself up, as though he had all the time in world. "What are you waiting on then, Castile," he said languidly. "You heard the lady."

Eddie smiled lightly at that. "Sure thing, boss," a hint of mocking in his tone.

Looking at her two friends, Rose realized that it had been a while since she had seen them so relaxed and _happy_.

Not to say that they weren't unhappy before, but over the last year and a half since the trio had left Court, there had definitely been a dark cloud hanging over them.

And now, Rose realized that dark cloud had been _her_. In her fight with her own personal darkness, and her need to battle it alone – and suffer the pain alone – she hadn't been able to keep the effects of that from bleeding into them. Eddie and Adrian had been suffering along with her. Her attitude and mood had tainted them.

Debating with herself over the merits of the plan forming in her head. She realized that she couldn't put them through that anymore. They trusted her to make the right decisions – loved her enough to let her make her own mistakes, so the least she could do, was swear to herself to never put them through that again.

But most importantly, she had found an outlet – a cure for the beast inside her, however temporary it may or may not be. A cure that didn't require her to go back to Lissa or risk Adrian's sanity by allowing him to heal her. The only question that remained was whether she could maintain it. In the year and a half that they had been on New York, that was the first and only Strigoi she had come across. So how could she seek out Strigoi in order to kill them and gain a release, without putting both Adrian and Eddie at risk?

Rose frowned. She knew the answer to that, but it was something she would avoid at all costs. Leaving them, no matter where, would be akin to abandoning her post – and she wasn't going to allow herself to do that.

But perhaps she would have to? Perhaps she would have to tuck Adrian back into his home, safe at Court in order to keep herself sane – and to keep _them_ alive.

* * *

Reviews are the best! And concrit is always a treat. Thanks to everyone that tuned in last time: **B. Weber, Terri Hathaway Belikov, Dimitri's Shadowhunter, laineylane03, missa27, miti1, LostInLoveAlways, loveyy10, VampireLoverForever27. **You guys rock!

Theodora


End file.
